{"id":1269,"date":"2025-11-18T12:33:37","date_gmt":"2025-11-18T12:33:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herstories.xyz\/en\/?p=1269"},"modified":"2025-11-18T12:33:38","modified_gmt":"2025-11-18T12:33:38","slug":"my-steamy-affair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herstories.xyz\/en\/my-steamy-affair\/","title":{"rendered":"My Steamy Affair"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Well\u2026 I tried my best to keep it a secret. But love \u2014 like pregnancy \"\ud83d\ude0c\"\u2014 eventually becomes evident. I couldn\u2019t hide it. And soon, everyone knew \u2014 my husband, my children, even my long-lost aunt from some forgotten continent. And of course, as with every great love affair, they all disapproved. They sighed, they judged, they rolled their eyes. \u201cIt\u2019s not right!\u201d My parents said, “We haven\u2019t raised you well!\u201d. My friends said, “It\u2019s betrayal.. physically and mentally… we didn\u2019t expect this of you!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But honestly \u2014 as if! I mean, what do they know about passion that stirs your soul? A love that is hot\u2026 dark\u2026 rich\u2026 and completely impossible to resist? Because this\u2026 this is the reason I exist. The reason I wake up every morning. No alarm is louder than the thought of it, to rouse me from the deepest of slumbers, when the world is still half-asleep – that sweet anticipation, that picture in my mind\u2026 waiting\u2026 intoxicating. A love so wild that it awakens every sense, fills your chest with warmth and your mind with fireworks. And when I hold my love close\u2026 I feel the warmth seep into my hands\u2026 and at the first touch of my lips, every nerve in my body goes, \u201cOh yes\u2026 this is a timeless affair.\u201dSo yes. I confess\u2026 Shamelessly, I admit it. I am in a long-term relationship. With coffee.\u00a0\"\u2615\"\"\u2764\"And no, I don\u2019t plan on breaking up anytime soon. And as I take that first sip, everything fades \u2014 the noise, the chaos, the sleep. It is just me\u2026 and my one true love. Coffee.\u00a0\"\u2615\"\"\u2764\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today\u2026 I\u2019m in zen mode. Reflecting on this journey we\u2019re on. Sharing my recent tryst with enlightenment\u2026The Illusion of Control: Why True Peace Begins When We Stop Trying to Control Life. Control. A loaded word \u2014 powerful enough to evoke strength, fear, desire, resistance, and ego all at once. For the first 15\u201316 years of our existence, others controlled us. Parents, teachers, family, society \u2014 everyone decides what we should do, think, study, wear, and become. We grow up believing that adulthood will finally give us the steering wheel. And when that moment arrives, we grab it with both hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel in charge: \u201cI\u2019m independent. I can make my own decisions. I can shape my destiny exactly the way I want.\u201d And so begins the long, exhausting phase of trying to control everything \u2014 our children, our families, our relationships, our image, our career, our emotions, our outcomes, our future. We convince ourselves that if we try hard enough, manage well enough, and hold on tight, life will obey. We plan endlessly because we want to stay in the driver\u2019s seat. We spend the next 20 years attempting this. But it doesn\u2019t work like that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People don\u2019t behave as we expect, plans don\u2019t unfold as imagined, and circumstances don\u2019t bend to our logic. The harder we grip, the more things slip through our fingers.
Yet we fail to grasp this truth \u2026 until midlife arrives. By then, we\u2019re exhausted \u2014 too tired to keep trying. Everything feels like it\u2019s spinning out of control. The famous midlife crisis kicks in. One day, almost suddenly, we shut it all out. We stop. We let go. And it is at this exact point in our lives that realisation hits hard\u2026\u00a0We never had control. Not then. Not now. Not ever. The \u201ccontrol\u201d we believed in was only an illusion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strangely, once this truth sinks in, something inside us shifts\u2026 softens. The need to fight, to force, to fix everything\u2026 starts fading. We begin to release the weight we\u2019ve been carrying for decades \u2014 the responsibility of making life \u201cbehave\u201d.<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

This is the turning point \u2014 the shift from mid-life crisis to mid-life awakening. I sincerely believe that this is why many people turn towards spirituality post-45. Because they feel that transferring the burden of \u201ccontrol\u201d to a higher power makes them feel light\u2026\u00a0And those who are not spiritually inclined turn inward \u2014 towards introspection, reflection, mindfulness, therapy, philosophy or self-awareness.Different paths, same destination. This is the wisdom that age brings \u2014 not from books, but from living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We realise that life was never meant to be controlled, only experienced. People are not meant to be managed, only loved. Outcomes are not meant to be forced, only accepted. And whether one turns to God, the universe, or inward to the self, the realisation remains the same: Peace comes from surrender, not control. <\/strong><\/em>Because the moment we stop trying to control life, life finally begins to flow. Signing off with my husband\u2019s evergreen WhatsApp status: \u201cTAKE LIFE AS IT COMES.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

About the Author<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aruna<\/em><\/strong>
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A double post-grad with an MBA and M.Com tucked safely in her backpack, she\u2019s on a mission to carve her own corner in this competitive world, all while being the mother of two teenage tornadoes. A certified experimenter in the grand lab of life, with professional stints at SBI (one of India\u2019s most prestigious banks) and KONE Lifts, she\u2019s gathered a rich blend of corporate wisdom and real-world lessons.
\u00a0She finds her calm (and her voice) through writing since the time she learnt to grab a pencil, where her thoughts finally get a mic. Did we forget to mention she\u2019s 9 3\/4 with equal parts of funny and fiery? She\u2019s also an IELTS coach who believes good grammar can save relationships and commas do, in fact, matter!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well\u2026 I tried my best to keep it a secret. But love \u2014 like pregnancy \u2014 eventually becomes evident. I couldn\u2019t hide it. And soon,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1271,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[227,6,21],"tags":[230,229],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herstories.xyz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1269"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herstories.xyz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herstories.xyz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herstories.xyz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herstories.xyz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1269"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/herstories.xyz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1269\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1272,"href":"https:\/\/herstories.xyz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1269\/revisions\/1272"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herstories.xyz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1271"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herstories.xyz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1269"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herstories.xyz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1269"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herstories.xyz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1269"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}